Abuse is a 24/7/365-day event, not just during the global 16 Days of Activism. So why do we only talk about it in Womenâs month (Aug) and during the 16 Days campaign (25 Nov â 10 Dec)â?
Whether we want to admit it or not, domestic abuse (GBVH) happens daily in our homes, our communities, and our businesses. COVID has once again put a spotlight on this pandemic due to the ongoing spike in both divorce and GBVH stats globally because of ongoing lockdown restrictions.
âWe can no longer ignore this silent, often violent killer, and the destruction it causes to individuals, families and communitiesâ says Quinsee.The unfortunate thing about GBVH is that it is often associated with physical violence or rape and the impact on victims of these traumatic experiences.
Very seldom are the other forms of abuse spoken about namely:
⢠Psychological abuse
⢠Verbal abuse
⢠Emotional abuse
⢠Financial abuse
GBVH is also often associated with male on female abuse, but very little is spoken about female on male or LGBTQI abuse that takes place in homes and communities too. We have also seen an increase recently of child kidnapping cases, yet we seldom highlight the plight of human trafficking of women, girls and young boys which is also on the rise and falls under the GBVH banner.
Quinsee states âIf we want to eradicate GBVH then we need to address GBVH across the spectrum â men, women, LGBTQI. If we want to eradicate GBVH then we need to address both victims and perpetrators equally because we do not have one without the other. If there were no perpetrators, there would be no victims.â
If we want to eradicate GBVH then it needs to start in our homes with how we conduct ourselves in our own relationships and how we are raising our boy and girl children, as that is where our first exposure of being in a relationship is established â the relationships of our primary caregivers or parents.
We learn from our primary caregivers what it looks and feels like to be in a relationship. We model their behaviours on how they engage, respond, and react in their relationship and towards their partners, and this is where our emotional and relational foundation is formed.
Quinsee says âAbuse is a learned behaviour, it is a choice to abuse and the behaviour can be changed if the abuser is willing to take responsibility for their behaviour and make sustainable changes through rehabilitation and healing.â
MatrixMen is the first organization in Africa to support and talk about male survivors of sexual abuse. Established in August 2012 by Martin Pedlers, an abuse survivor himself, their sole purpose is to raise awareness about male survivors of sexual abuse and empower men that have been victims of sexual abuse to heal and that they are not alone, they are not the only ones.
Another seldom spoken about area of abuse is that which happens within organisational walls such as:
⢠Bullying and gaslighting
⢠Sexual harassment
⢠Inappropriate behaviour and misconduct.
⢠Using a position of power or authority
⢠Underlying threats of job loss or career progression etc
Unfortunately, the home has now become the workplace and online has become the workspace and employers are starting to realise that some employees are not safe working from home.
According to a 2014Â study by KPMG, gender-based violence (GBVH) costs SA between R28.4bn and R42.4bn a year â or between 0.9% and 1.3% of GDP annually, which is, sadly, in line with global GBVH estimates. SA also has the highest rape statistics in the world
Quinseeâs colleague, Social Media law expert, Child Rights activist and Labour law specialist Diana Shwarz states that âWith many employees working from home these days, companies are starting to be exposed to the reality that some of their employees are not safe at home. This can have a severe impact on work deliverables, productivity and mental health.
While mental health is very topical now as many organisations are grappling with the impact of digital fatigue and implementing hybrid working models, not many are including GBVH under their employee wellness initiatives and support services.
COVID has definitely highlighted the abuse and worsened the circumstances victims find themselves in but the fact is, abuse has been ongoing for decades. The difference is that now because of Covid, the home has become the workplace and it is not only a domestic issue but a corporate issue. Employers have a duty to ensure a healthy and safe working environment for their employees i.t.o of OHSA which includes an environment free of harassment, bullying and abuse.
Itâs a complex situation to be in as where do the responsibilities lie, with the employee and their home situation, or the employers requirement that they work from home? What resources do employees and employers have in place to support employees to be able to operate in a safe working environment?â says Shwarz
South Africa has the highest rate of rape in the world of 132.4 incidents per 100,000 people. According to a survey conducted by the South African Medical Research Council, approximately one in four men surveyed admitted to committing rape. Although the Parliament of South Africa attempted to amend and strengthen all sexual violence laws with the Criminal Law (Sexual Offences and Related Matters) Amendment Act in 2007, the rates of reported rape, sexual abuse of children, and domestic violence have continued to rise (Source).
âWe can no longer ignore this pandemic, it needs to be a part of our everyday conversations not just when someone falls prey to GBVH or it happens to be a national day or annual campaign marked in the calendarâ says both Quinsee and Shwarz.
By cultivating a âspeak upâ vs âshut up cultureâ in our homes, communities, organisations and countries, we are able to remove the stigma, the social conditioning and the labels making it OK for both victims and perpetrators to speak up and get the help they need to start the healing process, ending GBVH.
